Where do babies come from?
by Cookie05
Summary: Achievement Hunter Baby AU Gavin and Dan have an argument that leads to Gavin asking Geoff the famous question 'where do babies come from'. The lads, Dan and Ryan just can't seem to let it go as Geoff and Jack struggle to come up with an answer that pleases all five of them.


**Where do babies come from?**

"Boys! Dinner!" Geoff shouted.  
A stampede of foot steps could be heard thundering down the stairs after this announcement. Michael was the first one to enter the kitchen, the five year old still mumbling under his breath about how stupid Banjo was. Ryan and Ray then followed; finishing off a game of Mario Kart that they had been playing. Well Ryan was finishing off the race in 11th place, Ray had finished a long time ago. And finally came Gavin and Dan. The latter of the two was staying for tea.

"Nuh-uh." Gavin protested from whatever argument the two Brits were having.  
"Yuh-uh." Dan replied. Judging from the sighs that sounded from the rest of the children this argument had been going on for a while.  
"Gavin, shut up!" Michael shouted, the young boy struggling to get up on his seat by himself.  
"But Micool." Gavin whined. "Dan's telling porkies."  
"I don't know what that means Gav, stop making up words."  
"Don't be mean Michael." Geoff scolded. "Now Gavin." He started, picking up the blonde and sitting him down. "Why is Dan telling porkies?" Geoff had heard Gavin use the word before and he was pretty sure it meant lies.

"Dan says that babies are made when a Unicorn uses it's magic horn on a flower bush. But that's not true because Unicorns don't exist."  
"How dare you!" Dan gasped. "Of course Unicorns exist.  
"Geoff?" Gavin asked as Jack was filling the plates. "Where do babies come from?"  
This question got the attention of everyone sitting at the table. The lads and Dan were looking at Geoff in wonder, curious for the answer he would give them. Jack and Geoff both shared a look of shock; they had not expected this question for a few more years so neither of them had prepared an answer. And Ryan's expression could only be described as amused. The teen got the general gist of the whole baby thing but watching Jack and Geoff struggle to come up with excuses for the four and five year olds would be hilarious.

"Well, um... where do you think they come from?" Jack asked wearily.  
"Don't beat around the bush Jack." Ryan giggled, hiding the most of his grin behind his hand. "Just answer the question."  
"When someone decides they want a baby they write to Mr Stork and he brings them a baby."  
This answer seemed to fulfil Gavin's curiosity, but the others weren't that impressed.  
"That's not true." Michael spoke up.  
"Well then Mister." Geoff ruffled Michael's curls, much to his dismay. "Why don't you believe Jack?"

"Because. Next door had a baby and I never saw a stork, or a unicorn. Besides don't they come from the end of a rainbow?"  
"Who told you that?" Ray asked, speaking for the first time since the conversation began.  
"Lindsay."  
"Someone told me that babies grow on trees." Ray added.  
"I guess that works. Maybe Gavin fell out of the tree when he was born. That explains a lot." Michael snickered.  
"So where do babies really come from Geoff?" Gavin asked again determined to get the actual answer.  
"In the back of Babies R Us there's a special vending machine where you pick your baby." Geoff answered. "You can choose hair colour, eye colour and even personality."

This did seem to satisfy the lads, but in conversations like this one of them always had a final question for Geoff and Jack to answer.  
"If you choose when you have a baby then how come our parents didn't want us?" Michael whispered, pushing his food around his plate.  
Geoff shared another look with Jack but this one held more worry; they couldn't make this answer up.  
"Lads." Geoff started. "I don't know why your parents left you at the care home. Maybe they couldn't take care of you, maybe they didn't want to take care of you. But you will always have a home with us, whether you are four or forty. Okay?"  
The children nodded in response. Even Ryan, who, though the conversation had been directed at the lads, had also been in the same position.

"Okay. Now that's over, who wants cake?!" Jack shouted breaking the upsetting atmosphere.  
"I do! I do! I do!"  
"Don't give them sugar Jack they'll be up all night!"  
"Can I have a donut? Cake is yucky!"


End file.
